billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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