so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
