this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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