I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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