I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
smell my finger.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
