So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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