Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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