dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
