Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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