i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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