Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
