It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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