Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
No subtext here. People are naked.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
