the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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