Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
