my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
