His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
