I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
The air taste purple.
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