Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
