wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
