Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
