Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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