Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
