so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
