Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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