Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
