I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
