I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
