Nicole vs. Life
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
