I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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