Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
its not stalking. its research.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
