i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
