piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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