I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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