I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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