I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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