i would punch a child for taco bell
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
