forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
