I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
This baby is an asshole
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
