i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
