I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
