Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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