I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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