I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize