im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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