sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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