yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
