Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
