How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
