it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
