How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
