so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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