During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
is wine microwaveable?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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