Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
