You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
barbara walters just said penis...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
