Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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