her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
