is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
