she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize