walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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