At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Im part way to drunk.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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