i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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