Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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