i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
