Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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