my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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