We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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