so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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