i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
